In my last blog post, Dealing with Disappointment Part #1, I talked about a major disappointment I’ve been dealing with over the past few months. As difficult as it is to share, I hope being vulnerable with my situation helps you realize you aren’t alone with your feelings of disappointment. I know for me, just knowing I’m not alone, makes a world of difference. By definition, disappointment is the feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the non fulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations. Looking at WHY we feel disappointed may give us an idea on HOW to move past it.
This is me getting voted out of Survivor – talk about disappointed!
Four Reasons We Face Disappointment
#1 FAILURE. I am disappointed when I fail, I’m sure you are too. Most of us are our own worst critics and failure often causes an overwhelming feeling of disappointment. The truth is, failure is a part of life and it gives us the opportunity to grow. Winston Churchill said, ” Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.
- In order to move past the disappointment of failure, choose to focus on what you learned from the situation and have the courage to move on.
#2 PERFECTION. Expecting perfection is dangerous for a couple of reasons. First, we put undue pressure on yourselves to meet unrealistic expectations. Second, it puts pressure on our relationships for the same reason. When things don’t fit the picture of perfection that we’ve created in our minds, we are disappointed.
- The best way to avoid feeling disappointed with expectations of perfection is to realize perfections doesn’t exist! There is beauty in our mistakes, our blunders and our un-made beds. Shifting our focus to what we’re doing right, will keep disappointment from creeping into our hearts.
#3 RELATIONSHIPS. I have felt disappointed in past relationships because I was expecting them to fulfill me. No person can truly fill your inner-most needs for happiness, peace or confidence. People are not equipped to provide what only God can give. We also are disappointed when family or friends let us down, whether it be a betrayal, lack of interest or a mistake. Expecting another person to be perfect, to never let us down or never hurt us, sets us up for disappointment. People aren’t’ perfect and that includes ourselves.
- Learn to depend on God to fulfill you. When you depend on Him, instead of being disappointed in what your relationships can not provide, you can be satisfied with what He has and will continue to give you on the inside. When you have confidence, peace and happiness from the Lord, the mistakes others make in your relationships do not need to leave you in the dumps.
#4 UNANSWERED PRAYER. Perhaps the most dangerous form of disappointment is when we feel disappointed with God – GASP, I said it! Having these feelings can make us feel guilty, but they are totally normal. I believe that we have to realize the problem isn’t that God isn’t answering our prayers, it’s that in our limited knowledge, we often don’t SEE how He is working on our behalf. There have been times I haven’t understood what is happening in my life, but I do know that God is good -even when i don’t get it.
- The best way to avoid feeling disappointed with God, is to trust Him. When you learn to trust him as the good God He is, you can turn that disappointment into patience, knowing He will work all things out for your good. (RMS 8:28)
Next time you face disappointment, allow yourself time to deal with your feelings – it’s perfectly normal! Being able to identify why you feel disappointed will help you deal with the root of the issue and will allow you to move to better place that makes you… Survivor Strong.